Life just became much more stressful

[tizzylou]

I'm not asking for sympathy, just words of wisdom so that I don't strangle my DH(who I love very much). He got fired from his job today, for not being the company man and sticking up for a previous employee who had filed for unemployment. Needless to say, when they lost the unemployment claim, the questioned how the employee in question had gotten a copy of the invoice that showed that the equipment in question was not working properly, and DH being the honest soul and boss that he was, stated that he gave it to him, thus resulting in him being fired. Even though they didn't give him copies of the paperwork that states why they were terminating him.

Problem at hand is he is sitting here crying because he feels that he has let me down and put us in a financial bind. The economy here is very flat, not that it is wonderful any where, but the 3rd largest employer in the area just laid off 20 positions, so it isn't a good time to be looking for a job around here, and while I love him and I do make decent money, it does put us in a bind, but I really just want him to believe that somehow we will survive this and that at some point everything will be ok again.

Any words of wisdom?
Hollis

[JenW]

Hollis-
I am so sorry to hear of your news. Ugh! I just hate it when people get a raw deal for doing the right thing. I really do think your DH did the right thing, but I see where that is not going to help with the bills. It sounds like the company did not want to own up to something that was their fault. I know I would want a man like him for my boss. Integrity and honesty are rare in the business world these days, unfortunately. It is all about the bottome line. My best advice is to allow him to be upset for a few days. It is an upsetting situation and hiding those feelings away will definitley not help. I don't think I would make any huge decisions in the next few days, either. You might need to sit down and 'brainstorm' where you could cut expenses if necessary. Yes, finding a job right now seems bleak, but you never know. Just reassure him that you are both resourceful and will figure something out.

Wasn't he a "budding makeup artist" when your hand was hurt? You see.....he can do anything that needs to be done.

[karen]

Hollis,
That is bad news- and it sounds like it's a BIG mistake on their part. To get rid of someone with that much integrity- that's just not right. It almost sounds like they're trying to find reasons to get rid of people. If they're playing fast and loose with their employees like that- they're breaking other rules too, and it sounds like he'll be better off without them.

Of course you'll get through it. Any couple that can figure out how to apply makeup TOGETHER- you'll be fine. DH and I lost our jobs at the same company on the same day. Another time, DH was unemployed for 8 months. It's not fun, but yes, you get through it. We've come out better and stronger for it. In hindsight it seemed like the universe's way of telling us to go do something better- and we did.

I think guys seem to take it harder- they can get so wrapped up in what they do for a living that when something like that happens it really does a number on them. They're raised to be "the provider" and when they aren't they just don't know what to do with themselves, and it's a bit emasculating for them. There is a grieving process that goes on for a while- could be weeks or months. Don't let him stagnate- that was my mistake with DH. Give him a "honey do" list- so that he can feel like he's making some sort of contribution.

Temp agencies can be a real lifesaver. When we left the photo lab- I was just kind of battered and beaten. I temped for a while and that really helped me get over it. I stuffed envelopes at Cornell, and the professor was so happy that she baked us cookies. It was a small gesture but at that point in my life, having a boss that baked us cookies- it saved me. Eventually I found a long term job through the agency, and kept it for years- same with DH.

Good luck- it's an uphill battle. We're here for you.

[tizzylou]

Jen and Karen, Thanks for workds of encouragemnet. I talked with the HR person at work today and after telling her the whole long story, she stated that it sounded like retalaitory fireing and to make sure that he doucmented that when he applies for unemployment. THen she spent an addition 30 mins with me lookg for jobs for my husband on the Colorado workforce job listing site. Believe me I appreciate her big time and know that she didn't have to do this. WHen I talked with DH this pm, he had called his previous manager who was supposed to meet with him tomorrow pm to move the time so that he could attend a job fair, and low and behold the company removed him from his position toay, and he had 1 hour to get his stuff turned over to the temp regionl manager. THere reason, he stuck up for DH. When I told the head of HR that she promptly told me to have DH document all and consider calling a lwyer, so youare right Karen, if they are doing this they are breaking the law in many other ways, so he is better off without them.

DH worked for a temp agency prior to this, so I'm sure that he will contact them again, to see what is available. THe man has Homeland Security clearence so passing background checks and drug screens are not an issue. ( which is more than I can say for the alot of the population around here). You are right JEn, I would love to have a boss that has as much intregrity as that, but like I said last night he has to live with his consious an I truly doubt if he could have lived with it if he hadn't stuck up for the other employee, he is fiar and the employees underneath of him have alot of repsect for him. As of this morning ther are Railroad trainmasters and local Amtrak officials that are upset over this whole thing so it should prove to interesting. Will keep you updated.

[tizzylou]

One of these days I will learn to proof read prior to sending posts. Sorry for all the typo's in my last one.
Hollis

[Rhys]

{{{{Hollis}}}}

I'm so sorry about what happened, but so glad you have such a good man. In this economy especially, people sell each other out all too often for the flimsiest of reasons. He didn't.

It'll come right somehow - I just know it will.

[pinkpomelo]

I firmly believe that we all get what we deserve.

And justice prevails. Even if we don't get to see it happen for our own eyes.

The flip side is, when we do the right thing, it will work out for our own good, in the end.

Hang in there!

[~*mikie*~]

Hollis ~ Hang tight & keep the faith. Your hubby's a good man. You'll get through it & come out stronger & better. Networking is a wonderful way to find a *great* job, so something not obvious may just become available. Just let him know he's your hero ~ & *I* think he's just great, too! ((Hugs))

mikie

[lcash]

Hi, Hollis - so sorry to hear about your situation. It's hard for anyone to feel good about doing the right thing when it impacts those you love. Be patient with hubby and put him to work. If he hasn't already, he should update his resume. Look for jobs on monster.com and other sites such as Workforce Services. Ask him to take on some of the home responsibilities while you're working so he'll feel like he's contributing. Look around your house for stuff to sell on Ebay. Most people have a small fortune sitting in storage boxes in the basement. You can make money and de-clutter at the same time. Even if he has to take a seasonal position, it will help get you through the holidays and give him time to sort things out. Most of all, show him how much you love him and respect his integrity. He did what most people would not do to keep their own butts covered. He's the kind of coworker or employee I've be honored to work with. Lauren

[mgmsrk]

I’m sorry to read about your DH’s ordeal. What a horrible thing to happen. I wish you all the best.