I need some advice please.

[lwoodall10]

Hi,

Everyone on this board seems so kind and full of great ideas and I wanted to get your advice on sending a little care package to a childhood friend of mine.

I recently found out that my closest friend growing up is in a Women's shelter living with her two son's. She has had a rough several years and is finally getting things back on the right path. We have not spoken with for at least 6-7 years, and before that it was probably another 6-7 years, but whenever we do catch up with each other it's like we pick up where we left off. She will always be very a near and to dear to me and I just wanted to do a little something for her, as she doesn't really have any other family except her 2 boys.

I was heartbroken when I found out her situation and would like to send a little care package for her and her two son's. Just something small, as I am assuming they do not have much space to call their own. I was thinking I would put together a little SN care kit. I have so much stuff I have bought and not used yet and I make jewelry, so I thought I would throw something in that I have made and a couple of toys for her little ones.

What do you think? I know make up is not very practical, but I thought maybe something fun and girly just for her might maker her day, it always makes mine

Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

Susan

[Colleen]

I think that is really sweet of you. It would be hard to know her coloring to pick foundation for her. Maybe some blush and glosses. I love the glosses. Also the holiday lip balms would be really nice. I think it is always nice to get a gift and she probably doesn't have a lot of money to spend on herself. I'm sure she will appreciate it.

[lwoodall10]

You don`t thinks it`s lame sending make up? i just couldn`t think of anything else and I thought something frivolous would be fun. I thought I would throw in some of the Olive Oil lotion too.

[lilychemgirl]

I think that sending her an SN care package sounds lovely, but I know that if for some reason I ended up in a shelter with my two daughters, that the best thing for me would be something practical, to make my and their lives better. I guess it is kind of difficult as you don't want to make her feel bad, but maybe something practical for the kids along with some cute stuff for her? How old are the boys? Even vouchers to a store so she can get them something nice for christmas or something, or some special holiday foods. If her boys are young then nappies/formula or that sort of thing can be really helpful.
It is hard to know what might help without knowing her/her situation, but I think it is lovely you are reaching out to an old friend.

[Rhys]

I'd send her some lotion or moisturiser and lip balm and a bit of makeup - single mothers without money just don't buy that for themselves, it makes them feel too guilty.

A gift cert for the kids would be nice, and hopefully she'll spend a little on herself, but if she likes makeup, send a bit - that way she can have it without feeling bad about spending money for it.

[egerandi]

That is really sweet of you! And I agree, the guilt often stops moms from spending on themselves, no matter how trivial it is. I have to 'force' my sister to shop with me, otherwise if I gave her money, she would just spend it on her boys. Which is just as well, I just think a girl needs her goodies from time to time, no matter how humble and small they may be

I'm voting for the olive oil lotion, some of the xmas lippies and some tinted finishing powder in her skin tone. Also, if you have any neutral shadows and a nudish lippie, that would be nice too: you never know what situation she might find herself when a simple but put-together face goes a long way.

For the boys, the gift certificates sound like a good idea. I'm totally blanking now, but I know a certain store in the U.S. sells other store-specific cards for a discount right now, for xmas time.

No matter what you give, the fact that you thought of her will go a long way. Good luck to your friend and happy holidays!

[lilychemgirl]

I don't know if they have them in the US, and I don't know if she would be offended, but in NZ you can buy a VISA pressie card which you pre-load with an amount, and it can be spent anywhere that accepts VISA. If you don't think she would find that rude, maybe you could do something like that, with a note saying how you hope it can help make this christmas really special for her and her boys, and some gorgeous girly goodies. That way, if she needs to buy basic stuff she can, or she can spend it on whatever fun stuff for her boys or her she needs. My sister is moving house in march, to a new city, and she needs household stuff, but doesnt' want to have to move it, so I got her one. I know it seems impersonal, but that way she can pick out exactly what she needs when she arrives in her new home.
Anyway, that got a bit rambly, but YKWIM, lol!

[Rhys]

I was in America last year, and yes, they have those pre-loaded credit cards there that you can use at any shop that takes Visa.

I'd still send a bit of makeup though, like Egerandi suggested - I've done it for a few mums who were dealing with welfare services, child services, job interviews, and the lot, and they all said that it was a real help to look put together because you got treated better. Ergo, it's an essential, ergo, no guilt.

I think Egerandi has a great idea on that - maybe the elegant brown quad if you can? It's neutral enough to work on just about anyone - and a friend of mine in a similar situation just about flipped when I sent her that, Love Lure (her match in FP), a couple of lippies, moisturiser, and blush samples. A sample or two of of blush (Flirt, Stardust, Desert Mauve, and Climax work on most folks, and none of them are OTT) mightn't go amiss, either. The FPs come with little powder puffs if I recall (it's been a while since I bought anything but a refill), and you can always use a bit of cotton wool to do mineral blush if you don't have a brush.

[lwoodall10]

Thanks Everyone for the great ideas. This is what I have come up with:

Elegant Brown Quad
Cosmic Blush
Tender Lippie
Olive Oil Moisturizer
Southern Praline Lip Balm

For the boys I thought I would pick up a couple little toys they are 7 and 3 and then I am going to send a Pre-Paid Visa, so she can decide what to get. I figure she nows best what they need most. I thought about baking some goodies, but we live in different states and I don't know how that would hold up.

I knew I would get some great ideas on here. Thanks so much for all the help!

Susan

[JenW]

Your list is great.....

What about sending some prepackaged goodies rather than home baked ones? I know the baked ones are always preferred, but I think something fresh and edible will be very much loved in this case. I am imagining they don't get too many treats.