I totally fried my hair

[nfig]

So I just need to vent my frustration because I'm so upset with myself over what I did to my hair. I called a new salon because I knew my stylist wouldn't give me a perm (now I know with good reason!) When I called I explained that I had recently had a baby and the curl was basically gone from my hair and I was basically left with a stringy wavy mess (I used to have really curly hair). I asked if perms were a typical solution for this type of thing and I was told it was common. I was scheduled with a very nice stylist. I explained the situation to her and she said she'd give me a really nice perm, not too tight and it would look great. I told her I was really worried to get a really bad, frizzy 80s perm and she assured me it would look great, especially since the chemicals today aren't as harsh as back in the 80s. She also told me that I wouldn't have to put as much product in to tame it because I had told her that I have to put gobs of mousse/cream in it. Let me tell you, I was given exactly that: a frizzy, puffy 80s perm. Since I left the salon with wet hair I didn't know this until it fully dried later that night. My curls are very tight (think Annie) in some places and none existent in other places. I look like a lion and my hair feels like a hay stack. It's absolutely horrible. There isn't enough product in the world that will tame this mess.

I would really like a refund as I'm not sure there is anything else that could possibly tame this mess without damaging my hair further. I'm so embarrassed to even go out in public; which is a shame because the reason I got the service was to make my life simpler and give myself a pick-me-up after having a baby. I feel more dowdy and mom-like than ever. Iin tears at the mess that was made of my hair.

I even tried washing it out before the recommended wait time but that didn't work. My hair is so fried and damaged now. I just put warm olive oil in my hair and left it on for about 4 hours. It seems a little bit better but still awful. I really need a trim now, as my ends are so damaged, but I can't go back to my normal stylist because she'll know what I did and I'll be incredibly embarrassed and feel really bad that I "cheated" on her. So now I can't even get a trim. I don't know what to do but I should have just left my hair alone. Will I never learn???

So do any of you have horrible hair nightmares to share???

[zooeyblue]

Oh, there are plenty of hair nightmares.... went for a trim when I was 12, and left with hair cut up over my ears, very short on top (I needed a curling iron about the size of my pinkie to style it!)..... it was 1983. It may have been in style, but it wasn't what I wanted!

I hope your hair settles down. . . . wish I had some great advice for you!! You aren't alone, though, and this, too, shall pass. How about wearing some cute headbands and scarves in the meantime?

Sending you a big hug!

[superwahz]

Oh no!! I feel so bad for you! That's really awful... I have to regularly talk my mom out of getting a perm, she's lost the curls through the sides of her hair and hates it. I'm just afraid someone is going to ruin her hair, even though I know it is possible to get a nice one.

If it were me I'd go back to my stylist, tail between my legs, claim hormonal surges led to temporary sanity, and beg for several intensive reconstructive conditioning treatments. I've fried my hair before, with color, and had those treatments literally save me from having 18 inches of hair cut off!

As for hair disasters...growing up was one big hair drama! My Dad hates for bangs to be hanging in your face, covering your eyes, so for YEARS he trimmed our bangs above our eyebrows---while the bangs were wet, of course. When my hair dried, my bangs curled and puffed right about at my hairline! Yeah, I don't wear bangs now, I think I have some sort of mental block against them. Or there was the time I went for a "trim" while growing my hair out, and she had a slip of the scissors and cut a chunk of my hair off, into the side of my hair...and then styled it to hide it so it wasn't 'til I got home that I realized on one side there was an odd chunk that was over a foot shorter than the rest of my hair! For a 16 yr old, that's major tragedy. I had to get a lot of hair cut off and it layered all around to try and blend in the missing hunk of hair. With all the bad haircuts and dye jobs gone wrong I've had, it's no wonder I put off going to a salon as long as possible...

I know right now it seems like such a huge thing, but I bet you're every bit as beautiful as you've always been, frizzy hair and all. On the upside, it's summer! Perfect time to hide your hair beneath beautiful wraps with lots of leave in conditioner while it recovers, or maybe even one of those cute headbands Xarata has been making!

[karen]

Congrats on the baby!!! Growing up I had Shirley Temple curly hair- and insisted on getting a Dorthy Hamill wedge, and it was pretty much down hill from there. I've been a stubborn mad scientist since I was a little kid- so you can imagine the odd things I've done along the way. Kool aid?? Oh yes- to match my prom dress. We didn't have that spiffy Manic Panic back in those days- we had to resort to any and all manner of pilfered pigments from our parent's pantries.

Remember hair crimpers? Good times. Extra crispy curled and teased bangs- check. My lungs are probably scarred from all the Aqua-Net we used. And yes, bad perms. One time, when we first got married, I had my husband "help" highlight my hair, which turned out all chunky and white- then to try to fix it I used some stuff from the DOLLAR STORE (we were really broke), and the white parts turned pink. It still looked better than the time I used Sun-In. Currently my hair is too dark as the result of a necessary at-home dye job (my SIL is pregnant- so I have to DIY my color until October or so- totally worth it IMHO). They really haven't changed the fundamental chemistry of perms in decades- but they try to add different things to minimize the effect of trying to completely restructure your hair.

Yes, go back to the salon that did that to you, and talk to them. DON'T let them touch your hair again- they'll offer to try to fix it, but resist any and all invitations back to the chair. Bad work should be brought to someone's attention- no salon owner wants unhappy customers.

I agree with Superwaz- go back to your regular stylist, confess your sins, blame odd hormones, maybe make a little joke- and she'll fix you up. Every business in the world relies on steady customers, and we know that everyone strays every once in a while. We're always happy to welcome you back. I'm sure she'd rather fix your hair than not have your business until it grows out. I don't do hair, but my SIL does- it's really not a big deal. She'll be able to help you learn to style it in a way that looks decent too.

As far as fixing the damage- you need cationics and proteins. I like hydrolyzed keratin, and amodimethicone. I know that cones get some flack, but they're not all evil, and you need them to lube up the strands to keep them from breaking. Amodimethicone is nice because it sticks to the really damaged portions of your hair, and then prevents buildup from other silicones. I've stopped washing my hair with shampoo, and just using conditioner, and that works wonderfully. There are a few really great long hair sites with good info on them.

Hair grows faster in the Summer- so you picked a good time to do this! It's only going to get better from here.

[lwoodall10]

OMG, where to start

My mother once took mustache trimming scissors to trim my bangs. Mustache scissors are bent at the tip, at least our were, so she kept trying to get them straigt, but that was never going to happen. I ended up with bangs that were like an inch long and refused to go to school the following Monday.

Then there was the hideous perm when I was about 12. I had gotten many perms, but decided to stray from the lady who usually did my hair. I told the hairdresser doing my hair that I wanted the biggest perming rods they had because I wanted nice big loose curls. He insisted that my asian hair was too course and the curls would just fall out if I didn't use smaller rods. At 12 I hadn't grown a backbone yet, so I let him do it and I looked like the Korean version of "Annie" It was so completely hideous.

Some self imposed bad hair choice I made were shaving my head to look like Cyndi Lauper I didn't dye my hair, but they used to make this terrible colored mousse that I used to color it purple and when it rained it dripped down your face. I grew up in Portland, OR, so it rained a lot After that I decided to shave the other side and had a faux hawk...my poor dad.

Oh, one last one. When we moved to Louisville I went to a salon that was recommended by a few of my coworkers. I wanted a layered bob, pretty basic right? I told the lady I wanted it just above my shoulders and that I needed lot's of layers because I have tons of hair. She is cutting and cutting and it's not looking too bad, but I tell her I need more layers other wise I look like I have helmet head. She puts some more layers in and asks how it looks and it still looks too thick, but it is always hard to tell when it is wet...I ask her take the thinning shears to the layers underneath. She gets the thinning shears out and starts hacking away and I knew at that moment things were not going to be good. Finally I told her to put the scissors down and that I would not be paying for this cut. My hair looked like someone had stuck a bowl on my head and just cut around it and where she took the thinning shears looked like someone had cut chunks of hair off, it did not blend. My hair is so coarse if the thinning shears are used on the top layer of hair it looks kind of chunky…can’t think of another way to describe it. When my picked me up, it was so bad he didn’t even say anything. He usually would give me crap for cutting it too short because he likes it longer. Finally, about half way home he say’s “It doesn’t look that bad” I burst into tears.

I found another hairdresser at a different salon to fix it, but by the time she fixed everything my hair was so short almost like a pixie cut. Cute, but too short for me.

I would definitely demand my money back for the botched perm and go back to your original hairdresser. I bet there is something she can do to make it more manageable until the perm grows out. She won’t be mad, Karen’s right they know we stray from time to time, but we always come back

[egerandi]

Oh my gosh, what a bummer! I would also suggest that you ask for a refund, and don't let them touch your hair again. I'm talking out of experience: my first time visit to a salon close to my house (my old stylist got stuck in a rut, I needed a change, but got more than I bargained for) was disastrous. I have thin hair and not much of it, and the guy decided to thin it out some more, literally hacking away randomly at the sides. I looked like a newborn bird with a mullet. I cried and cried, then called the salon, and went back to talk to the manager. She offered to re-cut it, which would have meant losing all the length that I've been building for months, and going back short (think boy short, not chin-lenght short). The other option was to add extensions for free, if I bought my own extensions. I opted for the latter, and after another $100 and 3 hrs later I looked worse than before. The whole thing was uneven, she didn't shape it well at all, so I pretty much existed in pigtails all summer. The extensions were hurting and a pain to deal with and only looked a little better when my yet another new stylist shaped them a little bit.

Long story short: get a refund (would be cool to ask for emotional damage and put them on probation :/ ) and don't let them try to fix it! Aside from what others suggested, you can also try coconut oil massaged into the hair. Good luck, and I hope your hair looks better soon!

[nfig]

Thanks for sharing in my misery! I am currently in a fight with the salon that screwed this up. I told the owner I'm not letting anyone do anything to my hair after they screwed it up. She tried blaming it on the fact that I was pregnant...nine months ago! She said this has, "never happened before"; yeah ok. I called my regular stylist and told her my friend did it; I just couldn't tell her the truth! She's currently researching whether she can do Brazilian Keratin Treatment over it. If she can I'm just going to get that and then chop my past shoulder length hair to a trendy bob.

Karen, I bought Redken's Real Control shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner, and styling treatment. They all have cationics and protein in them. Now I just have a horrible build up from all the conditioner I've been using and I can't seem to get rid of it all!

[lwoodall10]

I'm so sorry you are going through the hassle with the salon that did this to your hair. Seems like bad customer service to me. Hopefully the treatment your usual stylist is researching will work for you. *crossing fingers*

[nfig]

I'm so sorry you are going through the hassle with the salon that did this to your hair. Seems like bad customer service to me. Hopefully the treatment your usual stylist is researching will work for you. *crossing fingers*

I reported her to the better business bureau...

I talked to my stylist and she thinks it will work but she has to see my hair first. I have an appointment Friday to see her. She's going to take a look and then give me a trim. Then I can most likely schedule the BKT! What an expensive mistake

[Die Marchen]

Best wishes from Russia!
Once I was in a situation you describe and it was horrible. I was growing my hair for several years and...

My stylist (yes, I cheated her) helped me to recover. Her recipe sounds strange, but I tried it and it helped. 1 yolk, 1 table spoon of honey and 1 table spoon of cognac. It smelled heavenly. You put it on and cover with a plastic bag and then a towel. And drink tea and relax for 2 hours. Then you wash it off.

And time is the best doctor! And I like thinking - maybe it happened to me instead of a real disaster!

And I want to tell a story, it's not offtop, it;s kind remedy, I hope.
When I was at school my mother went to visit her friends for a weekend and my father and I stayed alone for maybe first time ever. And after some time he felt really bad, but told me not to call doctor cause he'll be ok. I called emergency several hours later though I was afraid to disobey. When doctors came they shoutd at me - why so late?!!! He was very bad and the route to the hospital seemed sooo long. And I was thinking - oh, why didn't he simply catch cold? Or a big car smashed his PARKED car... And then I almost dreamed - I saw myself dreaming of a severe desease instead of ...the worst.
Well, I disobeyed, saved my father (he spent time in hospical of course, but many years passed and he is ok now) and now I know what to think about things like this.

Though it doesn't mean that there should be no consequences for the salon.

And I heartly congratulate you with being a mother! God bless you and your baby!