Silk Naturals

Oh, I totally agree you can't spoil a newborn by paying too much attention to him/her; and I definitely never refused to pick up a fussy baby. However, I do think there is a difference between a fussy baby and a baby who is just watching what is going on around her and making noises just because babies make noises; and once you have determined that all the needs have been met and the baby is not actually fussing, it isn't a bad thing to allow a baby to just be a baby without jumping every time he/she makes a noise. But, I am admittedly speaking from thirteen-plus years of parenting experience, and having gone through the newborn thing twice.

karen wrote:I'm not a parent, but my sister is an infant and toddler specialist who trains daycare providers. She goes nuts whenever someone refuses to pick up a fussy baby, or not check on them. It's obviously a little bit different at a daycare center than at a dinner party, but you really can't spoil a newborn by paying too much attention to them. I can imagine it's a bit weird at dinner though.

When we got Bitsy (yes, our dog) she wanted to be held all the time, and we wanted to hold her all the time! She had this habit of jumping up on DH's lap, and burrowing into the top of his bathrobe- she does it to this day. It was torture for us to leave her alone because she was just so tiny, helpless and cute. DH setup a web cam so we could watch her from the office. We took her pretty much everywhere with us when we weren't working, and I think she's a better dog for it.

So, if two reasonably bright, not really overly sentimental folks can get that crazy over a dog, I can only imagine what real Mommies must go through with their babies. I'm hoping we got all of that nervous first time parent stuff out our systems, but I kinda doubt it.

I kinda doubt it, too. You haven't lived until your newborn sleeps all the way through the night the first time (and so do you!) and you rush to the bassinet with your heart up around your tonsils. No offense, but just saying....LOL.

Very interesting replies.
I have to say i agree with everyone!! haha (always diplomatic)
but it is true that it is probably a combination of personality, being first time parents and just loving their kid so much they don't want to let them go!

Karen, when you mentioned about your dog, that was what really made more sense with me. I was the same with my dog and always wanted to be playing and holding her, so you are right to say that this desire with a baby would be even that much more so.

I think for this couple it is probably a mix of being a bit worried and being first time parents (along with personality and the love...etc).
by the end they were getting quite annoyed with the baby because she wouldn't sleep, but she was just sort of watching us and making the baby noises. I don't know if you can force a baby to sleep, but they sure were trying. It was probably one of the first time the baby was around so many people, so she was affected by that I think, but from what I could see, not in a negitive way. She was very curious and just seemed to like to watch us all. Whereas the parents wanted her in the pram to sleep. and every noise she made just added to their frustration. they ended up leaving early because she wouldn't sleep, but she never cried, not even once, so I think in this specific case, it is a case of first time parents only, but probably also a cultural thing.
the other strange thing was that they wouldn't let anyone else hold her. I've always seen new babies passed around at showers, get togethers, dinners etc...so it was very strange to see that they either wanted her in the pram or to hold her, but not for anyone else to do so. I think this must be a first time parents thing as well. It's obviously their choice but I think friends and family can and want to help out with new kids, even if it means holding the baby while the parents finish eating, etc.

anyhow, I think all the posts were interesting and it is great to see another perspective. People are so individual and how they react to life is never the same for anyone else. I agree that you can't spoil a baby, that is also my view.
I'll try to remember all these points when I finally have a baby of my own one day. will be interesting to see how my own ideas change, as I am sure they are guaranteed to do!

O

royalgoddessbeth wrote:

karen wrote:I'm not a parent, but my sister is an infant and toddler specialist who trains daycare providers. She goes nuts whenever someone refuses to pick up a fussy baby, or not check on them. It's obviously a little bit different at a daycare center than at a dinner party, but you really can't spoil a newborn by paying too much attention to them. I can imagine it's a bit weird at dinner though.

When we got Bitsy (yes, our dog) she wanted to be held all the time, and we wanted to hold her all the time! She had this habit of jumping up on DH's lap, and burrowing into the top of his bathrobe- she does it to this day. It was torture for us to leave her alone because she was just so tiny, helpless and cute. DH setup a web cam so we could watch her from the office. We took her pretty much everywhere with us when we weren't working, and I think she's a better dog for it.

So, if two reasonably bright, not really overly sentimental folks can get that crazy over a dog, I can only imagine what real Mommies must go through with their babies. I'm hoping we got all of that nervous first time parent stuff out our systems, but I kinda doubt it.

I kinda doubt it, too. You haven't lived until your newborn sleeps all the way through the night the first time (and so do you!) and you rush to the bassinet with your heart up around your tonsils. No offense, but just saying....LOL.

Oh, that is so funny I remember the first time my oldest son slept through the night...oh, the joy He always woke up several times during the night and was up for the day by 5:30am and I remember waking up at 8:30 and it took a second to realize he hadn't woken up yet. Then panic set in because I was sure something had happened to him. I was super paranoid about SID's...but all was fine and I was well rested. It was a good day

As a new mom I totally agree it's personality and the fact that it's the first time. I'm a control freak and a people pleaser, so needless today I'm constantly trying to make my baby happy! Luckily for me I have a mellow baby, and I have mellowed out as a result of that.